Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Happy Being Fat

198.2 lbs

The other day I mentioned that I held my dog while doing a weigh in and that got me to thinking a bit. I got to imagine her as a lump of fat on my body, a 8.4 lb lump to be accurate. Now our dog Zsa Zsa is small but I wouldn't want her strapped to my body all day. It would be really weird. Now I do have a couple of Zsa Zsa's strapped on my body as fat right now and that really made me visualize what that means. At one point I had 4 to 5 Zsa Zsa's strapped on my body. Maybe you should weigh yourself with a small animal as well. It could be the perfect thing to help you see what a certain amount of fat gain or loss does for your body. Who knows?

One of the first things I read this morning was the following: Yes, sex can kill you, U.S. study shows. Dear sweet baby Jesus, now the scientists have gone and ruined sex, the bastards. Well, not so much. The title of the article is sensationalism. They could have put "exercise can kill you" instead (which is what the article says) but that is not nearly as fantastic and still not entirely accurate. The most accurate headline I could think of was "If you are sedentary, don't jump off the couch and give someone a good rogering or go jogging, U.S. study shows". For people who skim articles, the whole thing can be very frightening. If you really take it apart, there are some suspect numbers and nothing truly to be alarmed about. I am just glad that no one showed the study to this guy.

I find a lot of numbers to be suspect. We always hear that Americans are getting fatter but what is this based on? Hopefully it is something really accurate like body fat percentage from a large sampling of the population because scientists couldn't possibly think that using something as unreliable as body mass index would give them accurate numbers, could they? Nope they used BMI, sure as shit. I am surprised that a majority of Americans aren't considered overweight by the BMI standard! Wait, they are - shit. The studies show that you can get ten people in a room at work and 6.8 of them will be fat. I have always been suspect of .8 and his long lunch hours. Grrrrr.

Now that we know we are all fat (or at least a majority of us). Let's celebrate with our fatty cohorts here in America. Using BMI, that would include most professional athletes, most celebrities, a lot of physical fitness advocates and Sergei - the guy who works behind the counter at Baja Fresh. We are in good company, no doubt! Heck, why even eat healthy anymore? It just seems like such a waste doesn't it? Quit bogarting that chocolate covered cheesecake on a stick and hand that sumbitch over!

Shoot. I forgot I know about body fat percentages and lean muscle mass. Damn, according to more accurate numbers I am no longer fat (close but no cigar - thanks for playing), you might be in a similar predicament. See how numbers can work both ways? I can either celebrate the fact that I am with a majority of overweight people or be saddened by the fact that most of us are fat (we aren't to a certain extent). I can also have more common sense than a highly fallible set of government generated numbers based upon the worst measurement of obesity known to mankind. Hey, I am not falling for that! My middle name's not gullible, it's Scott, thankyouverymuch.

But let's still exult in our celebration of being fat. It might not be as bad as it all seems or as bad as we have been told. Sometimes I believe scientists are like children because they have put their heart and soul into this or that study, of course it makes them prone to hyperbole but that does not make them stupid by a long shot. "Look Dad, this is the biggest dinosaur turd in the world and I found it in our backyard!" Uh, honey, that's a rock. But I do like how scientists are always tossing some of the same notions back and forth and questioning findings that everyone took as gospel for years. For instance, it might actually be good for you to be overweight but not obese. Similarly, it is just as unhealthy for you to be too thin. Yes, Virginia, there is such thing as being too thin - the jury is still out on the 'too rich' part.

That bit of fat you have on you helps you fight off certain illnesses and gives you a storehouse for when you can't eat. Fitness trumps your weight which is why body fat is so important. You can still appear skinny but be fat by scientific standards which is not any better than carrying a few extra pounds around your middle or butt.

Now celebrating all things "fat" does not mean I am going to stop dead in my tracks and order Domino's tonight. I actually played some supplement games yesterday by getting a higher quality Policosanol (I call her Polly) and ALA. I upped the Polly to 30mg and increased my activity over what I would normally do on a Tuesday. I plan on doing the same thing tonight to see if the numbers will work out they way I expect them to - as always I will keep you posted. I really didn't expect a 1.6 lb drop from yesterday because of how low binge day popped my weight up. We are 10 weeks in, let's see if I can't get down to 190 in 12 weeks, shall we?

Oh I implore you to watch this video from 1964. If you have never watched a video on this blog before now is the time to change all that. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you Big Dee Irwin and The Diamonds. This thing is pure old school R&B gold.

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