Monday, January 10, 2011

Shock the Monkey

Well my first day of self experimentation has begun, time to shock the monkey. I woke up this morning and did something really alien: I ate breakfast. It was so strange ingesting something almost immediately after waking up. Usually if I feel hungry, three hours later, I eat something from the gas station on the way into the office. Yum, everyone should enjoy a Quiktrip sandwich microwaved and set in a warmer for over three hours at least once. I highly recommend the reconstituted chicken and bacon on an overly dry biscuit fashioned from sheet rock, bon appetit!

I also weighed myself. This was odd as well. I found out I am a whopping 236lbs. Who the hell weighs themselves at 6:30am? Oh I know! People who weigh 236lbs, that's who!

I am not shocked at all at the number the scale threw at me, I guessed as much. If my career fails or I need something to do when I am 67 years old that does not include the phrase, "Hello! Welcome to Wal Mart!", I can always be a carnival guesser. However, my guessing skills stop at those of you of the feminine persuasion. Not that I can't guess your weight but I do enjoy chewing solid food. By they way, if you are a woman and reading this, you weigh 124lbs like most super models. Was I off?

The diet so far has been interesting. I feel full but not overwhelmed, lots of protein and spinach and beans. It has been very tasty and far better than what I usually eat. Typically, I ingest my food like a snake; one sitting and I do believe my jaw unhinges at some point to accommodate the large amount of food I have stacked on my plate. I was never one of those breakfast, lunch and dinner type of guys. On a normal day, I might have lunch or I might have dinner or I might have breakfast. It doesn't matter what the meal was I would eat like a starved dog. So having some form of regular schedule is a huge change thus far.

There are some supplements that are not necessarily mandatory but I did them anyway since they aren't anything ridiculous. The list goes something like this:

  • First there is Policosanol which is a derivative of sugar cane wax or bee's wax. It has an amplifying effect on things such as garlic and has an effect on cholesterol in the liver.
  • Alpha Lipoic Acid, basically turns sugar into energy and redirects away from fat stores. Your body naturally produces it.
  • Garlic extract, manages cholesterol.
  • Green Tea Flavonols, inhibits fat storage.
All very natural. I set aside all my pills in little plastic baggies Friday. So far, so good.

The only thing so far that has me kind of scratching my head is the amount of energy I have. I have quite a bit, maybe too much. The green tea extract is not going to make it into my last set of supplements for the day because I am afraid I will be climbing the walls. I am already climbing the walls as it is. I have already started a fire in my chair from friction alone.

So I am going to set an arbitrary goal right now of 20lbs in 4 weeks. So the target is going to be 216lbs. In 8 weeks, I hope to be sub 200lbs which would put me in striking distance of my high school weight. As promised, I will post pics (a lot of running around this weekend) and my nifty worksheet at the end of the week.

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