Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Cynical Days

Man, I started off the day in such a bad mindset. As Christy was getting ready for work, so I jumped on the scale shoved into the closet and man it didn't look like I lost any weight yesterday. Damn! I tried to muster up some sort of heat vision to burn a hole through the scale. I was a little hungry yesterday and I had told myself it was all worth the sacrifice and I would try and increase protein intake today to make up for it. Double damn! I stepped off the scale and before I could fling it across the room and out the window, I noticed it was off by a pound or so (it was not resetting to zero).

Oops! With the scale I have, it is always best to adjust it, it is also best practice to read the thing correctly. You see, I am not as good a carnival guesser as I had thought myself to be. I have been reading the scale wrong for three days now. I would see the 240 mark and visually work down from there towards the the next mark of 230lbs. Well that works fine if the next mark is 230lbs instead of the 220lbs it actually is. So I have to adjust my weigh ins minus 5lbs. So today, after stomping off and then realizing I hadn't uh evacuated uh parts of my body as of yet, I went back to the scale - 229lbs.

Now you think that instantly losing 5lbs off of my beginning weight instantly and subtracting another 2lbs would make me happy. Nope. I was bummed because geez my perception of the world seems really off lately. I read things two or three times and then they seem to rearrange themselves on the page when I get back to them. It's like the scale, I have had it for years and I haven't always made that mistake. Or have I? Cue deep foreboding mystery organ chord. When things mess with your perception of reality it can be a real pisser. It's happened at least 3 times in the past week. I must finally be getting old (no I'm not, you are!). No matter what I am going to buy a new scale, a digital one, with huge ass letters for my impending sunset years.

Sometimes, the oddest moments pull you through. My daughter was getting breakfast this morning and I asked her if there was anything I could make her before school. She was reaching for the refrigerator and then pulled back slightly. "What's up?", I asked.

She replied, "Could I have cottage cheese for breakfast?", half expecting I would say no.

A little too excitedly, I said, "Why yes! Of course you can! Need any help?"

The girl was floored and had no clue what I had written yesterday about breakfast in the old days. I explained to her that it was pretty common for people to have fresh fruit and cottage cheese for breakfast. She looked really skeptical about it all which really shows me how far we have led our kids astray in this country. When over sugared cardboard becomes a normal diet for most, like it has, it is no wonder childhood obesity levels keep rising each year. What to do?

No comments:

Post a Comment